Post by Mike on Jun 26, 2015 15:23:19 GMT 12
Recently I've been paying more attention to Social Proof, which is the concept that women use the reactions of the people around them to determine the status and safety of a newcomer to their world. Men do this to a slight degree as well, but for women, it seems to be unconscious, intense, and even emotionally-based.
In the context of dating, if you want to be more attractive to women, having a hot blonde with you adds a whole lot of bling. A women's assessment of how "hot" you are also seems to be tied to how physically comfortable your companion is with you. You don't need to be in a relationship, or playing kissyface, but if she cuddles up and seems into you, every other woman in the room is 100% aware and becomes visibly more interested in you.
I've had an unexpected opportunity to experience this recently. For the last year I've been working on a dance called Zouk, which Dan has mentioned a few times. It's a really great social dance, and can be danced very intimately. I cannot recommend it enough, if you want to learn how to develop your sense of connection and body language communication with women.
A year ago I had a dance partner who is an attractive blonde by any measure, but who doesn't go social dancing often. I've been practicing social dance on Sunday nights at a studio called Viva, and having a good time there. Last Sunday she happened to join me for an evening. So she arrived, gave me a warm hug and we had some dances. Zouk can look intensely intimate and my dance partner and I know each other well, so we had fun with the closeness. Immediately girl after girl, they were cued up. I'd finish a dance, and another one would be walking straight towards me with a huge smile.
This was an entirely new experience for me. I'm not the best dancer yet... most of the guys there are smoother and more experienced, and not thinking about where their feet go. But this suddenly tipped the scales. My theory is that women seek connection. When they see it, they want to experience that. The most attractive situation for them is probably one in which they see an attractive female, who has a strong almost-romantic connection to a guy.
Men have the 1-10 scale of attractiveness for women, so just for kicks, I'd like to reframe that idea around the concept of Social Proof.
In terms of how women rate the attractiveness of men, I think it might look something like this...
10 - You are very close friends with an attractive female friend of hers (bonus points if that friend is interested in you)
9 - You are friendly with an attractive female friend of hers
8 - You are with an attractive female, who is very into you
7 - You are with an attractive female, who is friendly with you
6 - You are with male friends, who treat you as the alpha
5 - You are with male friends
4 - You are with one male friend
3 - You are by yourself, but friendly and approachable with the bartender, staff, host, patrons...
2 - You are by yourself, but dressed nicely and have a warm approachable smile
1 - You are by yourself
Think back and see if you have experienced this as well, and please share your views and experiences.
I am now realising I've always known this... that the cute waitress at that restaurant always appears from nowhere, and eye-locks when you've brought an attractive date, but that you very rarely get the same level of attention when you're flying solo. And she is drawn in like a magnet, she can't seem to help herself. Reviewing my past experiences is validating this idea more deeply than I would have thought possible.
SO HOW TO APPLY THIS?
There is probably good value in developing entirely platonic female friendships with hot women, and going out with them often. And I'd say the more the better. If you end up on a night out with 5 hot female friends, you're probably the hottest guy in the city at that moment.
You can probably mix this well with Kingdom Building. Pick a kingdom which has a lot of attractive females, and just focus on making friends. University is perfect for this, work can be ok too, but obviously dangerous as well. Better choices might be a dance class, a yoga class, a Les Mills class, any social group which is stable and growing and attracts beautiful women.
In the context of dating, if you want to be more attractive to women, having a hot blonde with you adds a whole lot of bling. A women's assessment of how "hot" you are also seems to be tied to how physically comfortable your companion is with you. You don't need to be in a relationship, or playing kissyface, but if she cuddles up and seems into you, every other woman in the room is 100% aware and becomes visibly more interested in you.
I've had an unexpected opportunity to experience this recently. For the last year I've been working on a dance called Zouk, which Dan has mentioned a few times. It's a really great social dance, and can be danced very intimately. I cannot recommend it enough, if you want to learn how to develop your sense of connection and body language communication with women.
A year ago I had a dance partner who is an attractive blonde by any measure, but who doesn't go social dancing often. I've been practicing social dance on Sunday nights at a studio called Viva, and having a good time there. Last Sunday she happened to join me for an evening. So she arrived, gave me a warm hug and we had some dances. Zouk can look intensely intimate and my dance partner and I know each other well, so we had fun with the closeness. Immediately girl after girl, they were cued up. I'd finish a dance, and another one would be walking straight towards me with a huge smile.
This was an entirely new experience for me. I'm not the best dancer yet... most of the guys there are smoother and more experienced, and not thinking about where their feet go. But this suddenly tipped the scales. My theory is that women seek connection. When they see it, they want to experience that. The most attractive situation for them is probably one in which they see an attractive female, who has a strong almost-romantic connection to a guy.
Men have the 1-10 scale of attractiveness for women, so just for kicks, I'd like to reframe that idea around the concept of Social Proof.
In terms of how women rate the attractiveness of men, I think it might look something like this...
10 - You are very close friends with an attractive female friend of hers (bonus points if that friend is interested in you)
9 - You are friendly with an attractive female friend of hers
8 - You are with an attractive female, who is very into you
7 - You are with an attractive female, who is friendly with you
6 - You are with male friends, who treat you as the alpha
5 - You are with male friends
4 - You are with one male friend
3 - You are by yourself, but friendly and approachable with the bartender, staff, host, patrons...
2 - You are by yourself, but dressed nicely and have a warm approachable smile
1 - You are by yourself
Think back and see if you have experienced this as well, and please share your views and experiences.
I am now realising I've always known this... that the cute waitress at that restaurant always appears from nowhere, and eye-locks when you've brought an attractive date, but that you very rarely get the same level of attention when you're flying solo. And she is drawn in like a magnet, she can't seem to help herself. Reviewing my past experiences is validating this idea more deeply than I would have thought possible.
SO HOW TO APPLY THIS?
There is probably good value in developing entirely platonic female friendships with hot women, and going out with them often. And I'd say the more the better. If you end up on a night out with 5 hot female friends, you're probably the hottest guy in the city at that moment.
You can probably mix this well with Kingdom Building. Pick a kingdom which has a lot of attractive females, and just focus on making friends. University is perfect for this, work can be ok too, but obviously dangerous as well. Better choices might be a dance class, a yoga class, a Les Mills class, any social group which is stable and growing and attracts beautiful women.