Post by The Dan on Oct 13, 2015 16:23:59 GMT 12
What do we mean by "crazy"?
- excessive and extreme in their unhelpful or harmful behaviour
- consistently creating uncomfortable social situations
- irrational and unreasonable
- responds to normal boundary setting by getting worse rather than better - consistent disrespect no matter what you do
- punishes you through trying to generate shame - deliberately manipulative
- it appears to be their personality rather than an isolated behaviour
- needy and annoying
- compulsive bullying
- patterns of complaints by others
- psychopathic
How do we know we're dealing with a CRAZY person?
- pattern of resentment and bitterness toward how they treat you
- they affect those close to you as well - "splitting" behaviour - turning people against each other
- when you set reasonable boundaries it has almost no effect, or makes them even worse
Why do they do it?
- to feel important through getting attention - so any response only feeds the behaviour
- to increase their self-worth through proving themselves or bringing others down
- to achieve power and control
- all of these things are about AVOIDING INSECURITY - they are hiding something from people behind this behaviour
How do we deal with it?
- if they are a proven crazy, let go of the idea that rational responses will work - they won't!
- decide on whether or not you want to keep this person in your life. If not, push them out to sea by completely ignoring them - RADIO SILENCE - absolutely zero contact or responses no matter what. You can start this with a challenge statement, such as "It seems like you are trying to hide your insecurities by [describe the problem behaviour]" and repeat this every time they do it; "See, you're doing it again!"
- if you want to keep them in your life, try questioning their motives from a place of caring: "I've noticed you often [describe the problem behaviour specifically], what is your motivation for doing that?"
Resources
- check out this Art of Charm podcast from a narcissistic psychopath - theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/episode-231-sam-vaknin-psychopathic-narcissist/
- excessive and extreme in their unhelpful or harmful behaviour
- consistently creating uncomfortable social situations
- irrational and unreasonable
- responds to normal boundary setting by getting worse rather than better - consistent disrespect no matter what you do
- punishes you through trying to generate shame - deliberately manipulative
- it appears to be their personality rather than an isolated behaviour
- needy and annoying
- compulsive bullying
- patterns of complaints by others
- psychopathic
How do we know we're dealing with a CRAZY person?
- pattern of resentment and bitterness toward how they treat you
- they affect those close to you as well - "splitting" behaviour - turning people against each other
- when you set reasonable boundaries it has almost no effect, or makes them even worse
Why do they do it?
- to feel important through getting attention - so any response only feeds the behaviour
- to increase their self-worth through proving themselves or bringing others down
- to achieve power and control
- all of these things are about AVOIDING INSECURITY - they are hiding something from people behind this behaviour
How do we deal with it?
- if they are a proven crazy, let go of the idea that rational responses will work - they won't!
- decide on whether or not you want to keep this person in your life. If not, push them out to sea by completely ignoring them - RADIO SILENCE - absolutely zero contact or responses no matter what. You can start this with a challenge statement, such as "It seems like you are trying to hide your insecurities by [describe the problem behaviour]" and repeat this every time they do it; "See, you're doing it again!"
- if you want to keep them in your life, try questioning their motives from a place of caring: "I've noticed you often [describe the problem behaviour specifically], what is your motivation for doing that?"
Resources
- check out this Art of Charm podcast from a narcissistic psychopath - theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/episode-231-sam-vaknin-psychopathic-narcissist/