Post by The Dan on Oct 20, 2015 12:35:38 GMT 12
I had a great session with a girl from USA last night about depression. She has experienced depression since she was in her early twenties (and probably prior to that given how we are as teens). She's been through YEARS of counselling and therapy, dug through her childhood and all that stuff, yet never found a 'solution' for her depression. She had a great childhood and nothing overly traumatic has ever occured to her.
When we explored this we discovered some crucial factors. Firstly, the understanding that sometimes depression is a genetic, chemical balancing issue, and nothing more. It's nothing to do with trauma or 'weakness', it's simply some people are wired for depression, prone to experiencing it more regularly than others, just like some people are wired for extra enthusiasm and others are wired for aggression.
But secondly, and most importantly, there was one real reason that depression kept kicking her ass:
She saw it as a problem.
One of the biggest issues I see around mental illness is that we call it an illness! Things like depression, anxiety and schizophrenia are labelled as being "abnormal" illnesses. This implies that they must be 'fixed'. Yet when did we decide that having a tendency toward a certain emotional state needed to be fixed? Why is it "wrong" to hear voices in your head, or to worry about the future?
What if there's nothing actually wrong with you???
Would you consider yourself to be ill if you experienced happiness more often that most people? Probably not. Yet how is that any different to experiencing depression more often than most people? They are both completely normal emotional states that all humans experience (with the exception of highly psychopathic people).
Why is one of them considered to be "wrong" and require fixing? Why is being consistently cheerful or gregarious not seen as mental illness?
Odds are it's about how "pleasant" they are to experience; how they feel. Many people consider the experience of depression to be painful, which it definitely is. Yet most of this pain comes from the shame we attach to depression. It's because we are trained to think that it's a problem that we call it a problem. We fight against depression, trying to fix it, instead of seeing it as a strength.
I asked my client: "What would the world miss out on if no-one ever got depressed?"
She identified that if she removes the shame and "wrongness" she's attached to depression, what she is left with is simply a state of deep reflection, sadness and empathy. Depression without shame, pure depression you might say, is an enhanced awareness of the pain in the world, a strong sense of compassion and connection. While others are numb to the pain of the world, things like school-shootings and environmental disasters, she feels these things deeply.
What would the world be like without depression?
Callous, uncaring and cold. People would be left to suffer while others walked past them, unable to muster enough sadness to be motivated to support them. We wouldn't care enough about the suffering of the world to do anything about it. We would lack the ability to share experiential pain with others, therefore missing out on the deepest form of interpersonal connection.
Sympathy and empathy do not come from happiness, they are based on sadness, a shared sorrow and understanding. The opposite of depression is not happiness, it is numbness. Depression is the deepest sense of emotional connection a person can experience.
Depression is not an illness, it's a gift!
If you find depression to be something that causes you suffering, ask yourself how it benefits the world. Ask yourself how you might behave differently in reaction to depression if you didn't see it as a weakness, and instead saw it as a strength.
This same thinking applies to other mental "illnesses". Anxiety is a heightened awareness of what is important, once you remove the shame. Schizophrenia is directly responsibile for some of our greatest artworks. Psychopathy provides people with an enhanced ability to take risks and lead fearlessly. The list goes on and on...
Please share your thoughts below.
Cheers, and thanks for readin
Dan
When we explored this we discovered some crucial factors. Firstly, the understanding that sometimes depression is a genetic, chemical balancing issue, and nothing more. It's nothing to do with trauma or 'weakness', it's simply some people are wired for depression, prone to experiencing it more regularly than others, just like some people are wired for extra enthusiasm and others are wired for aggression.
But secondly, and most importantly, there was one real reason that depression kept kicking her ass:
She saw it as a problem.
One of the biggest issues I see around mental illness is that we call it an illness! Things like depression, anxiety and schizophrenia are labelled as being "abnormal" illnesses. This implies that they must be 'fixed'. Yet when did we decide that having a tendency toward a certain emotional state needed to be fixed? Why is it "wrong" to hear voices in your head, or to worry about the future?
What if there's nothing actually wrong with you???
Would you consider yourself to be ill if you experienced happiness more often that most people? Probably not. Yet how is that any different to experiencing depression more often than most people? They are both completely normal emotional states that all humans experience (with the exception of highly psychopathic people).
Why is one of them considered to be "wrong" and require fixing? Why is being consistently cheerful or gregarious not seen as mental illness?
Odds are it's about how "pleasant" they are to experience; how they feel. Many people consider the experience of depression to be painful, which it definitely is. Yet most of this pain comes from the shame we attach to depression. It's because we are trained to think that it's a problem that we call it a problem. We fight against depression, trying to fix it, instead of seeing it as a strength.
I asked my client: "What would the world miss out on if no-one ever got depressed?"
She identified that if she removes the shame and "wrongness" she's attached to depression, what she is left with is simply a state of deep reflection, sadness and empathy. Depression without shame, pure depression you might say, is an enhanced awareness of the pain in the world, a strong sense of compassion and connection. While others are numb to the pain of the world, things like school-shootings and environmental disasters, she feels these things deeply.
What would the world be like without depression?
Callous, uncaring and cold. People would be left to suffer while others walked past them, unable to muster enough sadness to be motivated to support them. We wouldn't care enough about the suffering of the world to do anything about it. We would lack the ability to share experiential pain with others, therefore missing out on the deepest form of interpersonal connection.
Sympathy and empathy do not come from happiness, they are based on sadness, a shared sorrow and understanding. The opposite of depression is not happiness, it is numbness. Depression is the deepest sense of emotional connection a person can experience.
Depression is not an illness, it's a gift!
If you find depression to be something that causes you suffering, ask yourself how it benefits the world. Ask yourself how you might behave differently in reaction to depression if you didn't see it as a weakness, and instead saw it as a strength.
This same thinking applies to other mental "illnesses". Anxiety is a heightened awareness of what is important, once you remove the shame. Schizophrenia is directly responsibile for some of our greatest artworks. Psychopathy provides people with an enhanced ability to take risks and lead fearlessly. The list goes on and on...
Please share your thoughts below.
Cheers, and thanks for readin
Dan