Post by The Dan on Mar 12, 2016 13:57:53 GMT 12
What is 'Giving freely'?
- projecting your honest truth through expression, like the sun beaming out rays
- inviting others into your world (with no attachment to them accepting the invitation)
- offering a chance to connect
- aiming to increase the value of another person's life, or to improve the world in some way
- the reward is in the act of giving itself, there is no external element needed to feel good
What is 'Giving to GET'?
- using giving as bait - a hidden contract to get something in return
- strategy-based - the giving is attached to an outcome you are trying to achieve (like giving someone a birthday gift so that you can GET appreciation and gratitude)
- toxically motivated, all about increasing the value in your life by taking something from the external world
- requires a positive response to be seen as giving, whereas giving freely doesn't even need to be noticed at all to still count as giving
The difference in intentions:
- giving freely is about being honest, while giving to get is about achieving a goal externally through deception
- giving freely aims to increase the value for everyone involved, while giving to get is secretly about your own gain primarily
- giving freely does not require a response as the act itself is rewarding, while giving to get feels pointless without a positive response
- giving freely comes from abundance, a sense of overflow, while giving to get comes from scarcity, a sense that there is not enough to share
How is being honest the same as giving freely, especially when your honesty is something you feel is negative (e.g. complaining about feeling confused)?
- it shows you consider the person you're being honest with as trustworthy, which is a great compliment to them
- it allows the other person to feel like they matter, that they are significant to you
- it invites the person to connect, if they reciprocate with honesty they get to feel connected genuinely, which is very rare
- it shows them that you care about their perspective, which gives them self-worth recognition
- it shows yourself that you are worthy, because being honest removes shame about who you are, so at the very least your value increases
Practical ways to make the change:
- give anonymously, like talking about someone behind their back in a positive way, or leaving someone a present from a 'secret admirer' without ever telling them it's from you
- give without allowing yourself to receive recognition, like giving someone a compliment and then walking away before they can even react
- allow others to give to you, accept all compliments and recognition by saying "Thanks, I appreciate you saying that" - you don't have to believe the compliment, instead recognise and appreciate the effort they made to give to you
- make being honest your #1 priority, and be willing to upset people with honesty, in order to show yourself how powerfully giving honesty can be
Resources:
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/are-you-a-toxic-approval-seeker/
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/making-it-easier-to-be-honest/
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/why-give-without-getting-something-in-return/
- projecting your honest truth through expression, like the sun beaming out rays
- inviting others into your world (with no attachment to them accepting the invitation)
- offering a chance to connect
- aiming to increase the value of another person's life, or to improve the world in some way
- the reward is in the act of giving itself, there is no external element needed to feel good
What is 'Giving to GET'?
- using giving as bait - a hidden contract to get something in return
- strategy-based - the giving is attached to an outcome you are trying to achieve (like giving someone a birthday gift so that you can GET appreciation and gratitude)
- toxically motivated, all about increasing the value in your life by taking something from the external world
- requires a positive response to be seen as giving, whereas giving freely doesn't even need to be noticed at all to still count as giving
The difference in intentions:
- giving freely is about being honest, while giving to get is about achieving a goal externally through deception
- giving freely aims to increase the value for everyone involved, while giving to get is secretly about your own gain primarily
- giving freely does not require a response as the act itself is rewarding, while giving to get feels pointless without a positive response
- giving freely comes from abundance, a sense of overflow, while giving to get comes from scarcity, a sense that there is not enough to share
How is being honest the same as giving freely, especially when your honesty is something you feel is negative (e.g. complaining about feeling confused)?
- it shows you consider the person you're being honest with as trustworthy, which is a great compliment to them
- it allows the other person to feel like they matter, that they are significant to you
- it invites the person to connect, if they reciprocate with honesty they get to feel connected genuinely, which is very rare
- it shows them that you care about their perspective, which gives them self-worth recognition
- it shows yourself that you are worthy, because being honest removes shame about who you are, so at the very least your value increases
Practical ways to make the change:
- give anonymously, like talking about someone behind their back in a positive way, or leaving someone a present from a 'secret admirer' without ever telling them it's from you
- give without allowing yourself to receive recognition, like giving someone a compliment and then walking away before they can even react
- allow others to give to you, accept all compliments and recognition by saying "Thanks, I appreciate you saying that" - you don't have to believe the compliment, instead recognise and appreciate the effort they made to give to you
- make being honest your #1 priority, and be willing to upset people with honesty, in order to show yourself how powerfully giving honesty can be
Resources:
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/are-you-a-toxic-approval-seeker/
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/making-it-easier-to-be-honest/
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/why-give-without-getting-something-in-return/