Post by The Dan on Jun 6, 2016 15:00:31 GMT 12
What's the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy connection?
- openness vs secrecy
- direct vs playing games
- asking vs mind-reading
- trying to improve vs refusing to change or take responsibility
- connecting vs performing
In what ways do you behave differently on a date than with a best friend?
- smiling a lot more than normal - faking it
- carefully selective about what I say and do
- wait for the man to lead
- extra animated
- pretending in general to avoid causing offence
- polite
- try to make it "work" rather than allowing it to naturally evolve
- hidden expectations
- guessing and mind-reading
What changes would need to happen to improve your connections with men?
- call out their bullshit
- tell them it's ok to be authentic
- stop performing and trying to impress them, focus on honesty instead
- set clear expectations without demanding anything
- create a fun lifestyle for myself to meet people, rather than seeking out dates (e.g. join a dance class rather than online dating)
Secrets on helping men to open up and connect:
- Demand equal investment, and do not invest more until they match you (e.g. texting)
- Men literally do not understand the subtlety of emotional communication – give it to them direct, specific and check their understanding when it’s something important
- Men use online/text communication because it’s easier, but don’t let them do this (and don’t do this yourself) – always escalate anything beyond logistics to phone call or in person
- Men are terrible at mind-reading, assume they have absolutely no idea what you’re thinking
- Men have been conditioned to hide sexual interest, so if you’re not seeing anything it doesn’t mean they don’t want to
- If you’re consistently attracting low quality men, then you need to work on your own confidence before getting into a relationship – unhealthy attracts unhealthy
Resources
An article you can send to confused men in your life www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/what-women-really-want/
Approval seeking www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/are-you-a-toxic-approval-seeker/
- openness vs secrecy
- direct vs playing games
- asking vs mind-reading
- trying to improve vs refusing to change or take responsibility
- connecting vs performing
In what ways do you behave differently on a date than with a best friend?
- smiling a lot more than normal - faking it
- carefully selective about what I say and do
- wait for the man to lead
- extra animated
- pretending in general to avoid causing offence
- polite
- try to make it "work" rather than allowing it to naturally evolve
- hidden expectations
- guessing and mind-reading
What changes would need to happen to improve your connections with men?
- call out their bullshit
- tell them it's ok to be authentic
- stop performing and trying to impress them, focus on honesty instead
- set clear expectations without demanding anything
- create a fun lifestyle for myself to meet people, rather than seeking out dates (e.g. join a dance class rather than online dating)
Secrets on helping men to open up and connect:
- Demand equal investment, and do not invest more until they match you (e.g. texting)
- Men literally do not understand the subtlety of emotional communication – give it to them direct, specific and check their understanding when it’s something important
- Men use online/text communication because it’s easier, but don’t let them do this (and don’t do this yourself) – always escalate anything beyond logistics to phone call or in person
- Men are terrible at mind-reading, assume they have absolutely no idea what you’re thinking
- Men have been conditioned to hide sexual interest, so if you’re not seeing anything it doesn’t mean they don’t want to
- If you’re consistently attracting low quality men, then you need to work on your own confidence before getting into a relationship – unhealthy attracts unhealthy
Resources
An article you can send to confused men in your life www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/what-women-really-want/
Approval seeking www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/are-you-a-toxic-approval-seeker/