Post by The Dan on Jul 2, 2015 17:08:09 GMT 12
What is status?
- We give people status through the stories we make up about them, these stories come with rules that we feel we must follow (e.g. be nicer to higher status people)
- Status is not the same as respect, it is closer to admiration + neediness
- status is a measure of our perceived value/worth in comparison to someone else
How to people achieve status / what leads us to believe others are ‘better’ than us?
- Status is about perceived popularity
- they seem to have what we desire (wealth, fame, health, skills, knowledge)
- we attach a sense of "better" to those who have what we want, and a sense of "worse" to those who have what we don't want
- we are raised to believe that one person can be better or worse than another, even though there is no objective measure for this
- we have residual evolutionary psychology that makes us attach fear and a sense of danger to our perceived social status
How does perceived status affect us?
- Status creates hierarchy without someone having to earn the top positions
- We have a needy desire to get the validation of a title, through recognition and approval
- we change our behaviour according to the status we perceive of others (we become smug around lower and subservient around higher)
- we accord attributes to people without evidence, such as believing a famous person is somehow good, simply because they are famous
- Status shows us what we feel deep down we are missing
Removing the pedestal – reducing status through focusing on reality
- Focus on evidence of behaviour and test all the assumptions you make about people
- Separate the idea of the person from the person themselves
- Talk to them with curiosity to find out what they're really like, and be willing to allow them to surprise you
Homework:
- list the people in your life that you've given status to
- write a list of all the qualities you expect in a person you'd respect
- talk to people you feel have higher status than you, get to know them a bit better
Resources
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/read-this-before-you-judge-other-people/
Check out Simon Sinek talk about leadership on TED www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/are-you-a-toxic-approval-seeker/
- We give people status through the stories we make up about them, these stories come with rules that we feel we must follow (e.g. be nicer to higher status people)
- Status is not the same as respect, it is closer to admiration + neediness
- status is a measure of our perceived value/worth in comparison to someone else
How to people achieve status / what leads us to believe others are ‘better’ than us?
- Status is about perceived popularity
- they seem to have what we desire (wealth, fame, health, skills, knowledge)
- we attach a sense of "better" to those who have what we want, and a sense of "worse" to those who have what we don't want
- we are raised to believe that one person can be better or worse than another, even though there is no objective measure for this
- we have residual evolutionary psychology that makes us attach fear and a sense of danger to our perceived social status
How does perceived status affect us?
- Status creates hierarchy without someone having to earn the top positions
- We have a needy desire to get the validation of a title, through recognition and approval
- we change our behaviour according to the status we perceive of others (we become smug around lower and subservient around higher)
- we accord attributes to people without evidence, such as believing a famous person is somehow good, simply because they are famous
- Status shows us what we feel deep down we are missing
Removing the pedestal – reducing status through focusing on reality
- Focus on evidence of behaviour and test all the assumptions you make about people
- Separate the idea of the person from the person themselves
- Talk to them with curiosity to find out what they're really like, and be willing to allow them to surprise you
Homework:
- list the people in your life that you've given status to
- write a list of all the qualities you expect in a person you'd respect
- talk to people you feel have higher status than you, get to know them a bit better
Resources
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/read-this-before-you-judge-other-people/
Check out Simon Sinek talk about leadership on TED www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action
www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/are-you-a-toxic-approval-seeker/