Post by The Dan on Sept 25, 2015 18:51:17 GMT 12
What is a Frame?
- a set of rules and expectations tied to an external focus/event/person
- limitations and a baseline setting for a situation
- perspective and perception - a subjective view of reality create by attaching a story to objective concepts (e.g. turning a glass of beer into "a refreshing drink")
- a picture frame that filters all reality into a simplistic mental construct
- a mental structure which is strongly held by the individual
- a personal view of the truth, with a set of rules attached as to how someone may behave in a certain setting
What is Frame Control?
- being unaffected by competing frames, or only allowing helpful frames to influence you
- able to maintain your own perception of reality in the face of manipulation attempts
- influence over others' frames - inviting them to accept your reality without trying to convince them
- in a word: certainty
- living by your chosen frame through actions
What's the difference between helpful and unhelpful frames?
Helpful frames:
- allow you live by your values
- improve the outcomes and results in your life
- adjust to evidence and stay up to date
- generate feelings of curiosity, confidence, integrity, respect
- Improve your quality of life and lead to further progress
- based on taking Responsibility for life
Unhelpful frames:
- refuse to adapt to evidence - often biased
- create a track record of increasing failure to achieve goals
- generate feelings like frustration, guilt, rage and depression
- based on comfort and safety, feeling comfortable but also unsatisfied
- deep seated guilt about not getting the most out of life
- Based on being a Victim
Common themes for unhelpful frames:
- Time management - excuses that you don't have enough time to do what's right, even though you waste time in other areas of life
- Social Approval - avoidance of being disliked and rejected leads you to not take risks or lead
- Emotional Shame - having 'wrong' attached to certain emotional states (e.g. anger), and trying to avoid these emotions limits your options
- Routine - doing something because that's how you've always done it
- Obligation - feeling shame because of other peoples' expectations
- Risk Avoidance - safety based beliefs that keep you wrapped in cotton wool
How to identify unhelpful frames:
- find an area where the results either disappoint you often or aren't ideal, and work backwards
- figure out what behaviour creates these unwanted results - look out for any behaviour you feel the need to explain/justify to yourself (e.g. "Well I couldn't approach her because she's on the phone" = frame of "I'm a nuisance to others")
- figure out what frames must be there to motivate you to behave in this unhelpful way
How to reframe to something more helpful:
- again start with results, but this time imagine the ideal results
- work backwards to figure out what behaviour you would need to adopt to create these results. You might have to get some coaching or mentoring to answer this
- figure out what frames a person would need to have to feel motivated to behave that way
- aim to live by those frames as a guide for behaviour
- for people trying to get in the way of your frame, don't defend yourself. Just explore their alternative view (if you're interested) or simply ignore them
Resources:
Frame control article - www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/how-your-entire-life-is-controlled-by-psychological-frames/
Understanding the difference between values vs unhelpful social frames - www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/the-difference-between-values-virtues-goals-and-outcomes/
106 Coaching Questions
- a set of rules and expectations tied to an external focus/event/person
- limitations and a baseline setting for a situation
- perspective and perception - a subjective view of reality create by attaching a story to objective concepts (e.g. turning a glass of beer into "a refreshing drink")
- a picture frame that filters all reality into a simplistic mental construct
- a mental structure which is strongly held by the individual
- a personal view of the truth, with a set of rules attached as to how someone may behave in a certain setting
What is Frame Control?
- being unaffected by competing frames, or only allowing helpful frames to influence you
- able to maintain your own perception of reality in the face of manipulation attempts
- influence over others' frames - inviting them to accept your reality without trying to convince them
- in a word: certainty
- living by your chosen frame through actions
What's the difference between helpful and unhelpful frames?
Helpful frames:
- allow you live by your values
- improve the outcomes and results in your life
- adjust to evidence and stay up to date
- generate feelings of curiosity, confidence, integrity, respect
- Improve your quality of life and lead to further progress
- based on taking Responsibility for life
Unhelpful frames:
- refuse to adapt to evidence - often biased
- create a track record of increasing failure to achieve goals
- generate feelings like frustration, guilt, rage and depression
- based on comfort and safety, feeling comfortable but also unsatisfied
- deep seated guilt about not getting the most out of life
- Based on being a Victim
Common themes for unhelpful frames:
- Time management - excuses that you don't have enough time to do what's right, even though you waste time in other areas of life
- Social Approval - avoidance of being disliked and rejected leads you to not take risks or lead
- Emotional Shame - having 'wrong' attached to certain emotional states (e.g. anger), and trying to avoid these emotions limits your options
- Routine - doing something because that's how you've always done it
- Obligation - feeling shame because of other peoples' expectations
- Risk Avoidance - safety based beliefs that keep you wrapped in cotton wool
How to identify unhelpful frames:
- find an area where the results either disappoint you often or aren't ideal, and work backwards
- figure out what behaviour creates these unwanted results - look out for any behaviour you feel the need to explain/justify to yourself (e.g. "Well I couldn't approach her because she's on the phone" = frame of "I'm a nuisance to others")
- figure out what frames must be there to motivate you to behave in this unhelpful way
How to reframe to something more helpful:
- again start with results, but this time imagine the ideal results
- work backwards to figure out what behaviour you would need to adopt to create these results. You might have to get some coaching or mentoring to answer this
- figure out what frames a person would need to have to feel motivated to behave that way
- aim to live by those frames as a guide for behaviour
- for people trying to get in the way of your frame, don't defend yourself. Just explore their alternative view (if you're interested) or simply ignore them
Resources:
Frame control article - www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/how-your-entire-life-is-controlled-by-psychological-frames/
Understanding the difference between values vs unhelpful social frames - www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/the-difference-between-values-virtues-goals-and-outcomes/
106 Coaching Questions