Post by Mike on Jun 24, 2015 15:00:55 GMT 12
As usual, I found Dan's Monday session (topic: Honesty) Fantastic. It made me think a lot about how I say things, and even more about the things that I don't say. It's such a huge topic I imagine that we could probably do a whole session (at least) on each aspect of Honesty that Dan brought up.
At the end of the lesson I could clearly identify 3 different aspects of Honesty in my notes. For reference I've given them names.
Truthfulness - being truthful, as in not telling intentional lies, even "white lies".
This means seeking truth-based ways to answer a direct, leading question such as "do I look fat in this?" And find ways to be direct and honest without being harsh, critical, or misleading.
Accuracy - being accurate and specific.
Avoid objective generalizations such as "you are beautiful", and go for subjective specifics "I really like your smile", or even better, describe it in terms of a personal emotional reaction to deepen the connection- "The way you smile makes me feel happy to be alive"
Openness - don't hide feelings or opinions, positive or negative. Pursue an effective, accurate, specific way to communicate them. This is an important part of being Authentic. I imagine this improves with practice, we're raised to "don't rock the boat", "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" but that's because children lack tactfulness. As adults maintaining that closed approach can only limit and harm relationships.
Have I missed any facets? I aim to make a practice wall chart to stay focused on some habits here (e.g. telling people what they want to hear)
At the end of the lesson I could clearly identify 3 different aspects of Honesty in my notes. For reference I've given them names.
Truthfulness - being truthful, as in not telling intentional lies, even "white lies".
This means seeking truth-based ways to answer a direct, leading question such as "do I look fat in this?" And find ways to be direct and honest without being harsh, critical, or misleading.
Accuracy - being accurate and specific.
Avoid objective generalizations such as "you are beautiful", and go for subjective specifics "I really like your smile", or even better, describe it in terms of a personal emotional reaction to deepen the connection- "The way you smile makes me feel happy to be alive"
Openness - don't hide feelings or opinions, positive or negative. Pursue an effective, accurate, specific way to communicate them. This is an important part of being Authentic. I imagine this improves with practice, we're raised to "don't rock the boat", "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" but that's because children lack tactfulness. As adults maintaining that closed approach can only limit and harm relationships.
Have I missed any facets? I aim to make a practice wall chart to stay focused on some habits here (e.g. telling people what they want to hear)