Post by Mike on May 1, 2016 16:19:07 GMT 12
This year I've been exploring how to build connections with strangers. It has been enormously fun and rewarding, and it's usually full of surprises.
One of the keys for me has been just relaxing and letting go of any expectations. Another key has been presence. I put away my phone, turn off my music, and just observe people - whether I'm walking down the street, or sitting on the bus. I just focus on entering a Release state and allow myself to notice things. When something intrigues me, I allow myself to be curious, and react naturally - making and holding eye contact, smiling, complimenting someone.
I find that when I'm actually paying attention, so much is happening around me at every moment. Sometimes I'll notice someone who looks like they are struggling to carry something heavy, or who needs help crossing the street, or who need help carrying a stroller up steps. I'll notice people deep in thought trying to make a product selection at the store. Or searching for a parking space while I happen to be heading to my car to leave. All of these are opportunities to connect and help someone. As a naturally shy person, this simple approach of "getting out of my own head" and just allowing things to happen has been World-changing.
I notice opportunities much more quickly now because I am just enjoying a state of reflection and observation. No phone, no music, just sit back and watch the people. The things going on right next to me are usually way more interesting than anything happening on Facebook.
The other day a group got on the bus with me and I saw the bus driver trying to tell them they were on the wrong bus. They were obviously confused why he was saying that and determined that this was the right bus for them. Two of them happened to sit in front of me so I just leaned over and asked where they were headed.
They were a group of Japanese and Chinese students, here learning English, who wanted to see the sunset from One Tree Hill. They'd never been there. Meanwhile the bus driver is getting more insistent and demanding, so I suggested we just hop off the bus and walk to One Tree Hill, and then I'd continue to my house just on the other side of the park.
It was a gorgeous day, and they were super keen. We got off in Epsom and enjoyed a really great walk, chatting all the way, half in English, half in Japanese, which I've been wanting to practice for ages. I ended up having so much fun, I decided to join them up the hill and took them on the walk through the sheep pastures, which is far more beautiful than the road. It was a real treat. Some of them had never seen sheep. The sunset was great, but the friendship connection was one of the best things ever. By the time the walk was over all 5 of them were sad to see me go and we made plans to visit North Head next. And of course, practice more English & Japanese.
Lately I feel like the world is full of lovely people just waiting for a hello.
One of the keys for me has been just relaxing and letting go of any expectations. Another key has been presence. I put away my phone, turn off my music, and just observe people - whether I'm walking down the street, or sitting on the bus. I just focus on entering a Release state and allow myself to notice things. When something intrigues me, I allow myself to be curious, and react naturally - making and holding eye contact, smiling, complimenting someone.
I find that when I'm actually paying attention, so much is happening around me at every moment. Sometimes I'll notice someone who looks like they are struggling to carry something heavy, or who needs help crossing the street, or who need help carrying a stroller up steps. I'll notice people deep in thought trying to make a product selection at the store. Or searching for a parking space while I happen to be heading to my car to leave. All of these are opportunities to connect and help someone. As a naturally shy person, this simple approach of "getting out of my own head" and just allowing things to happen has been World-changing.
I notice opportunities much more quickly now because I am just enjoying a state of reflection and observation. No phone, no music, just sit back and watch the people. The things going on right next to me are usually way more interesting than anything happening on Facebook.
The other day a group got on the bus with me and I saw the bus driver trying to tell them they were on the wrong bus. They were obviously confused why he was saying that and determined that this was the right bus for them. Two of them happened to sit in front of me so I just leaned over and asked where they were headed.
They were a group of Japanese and Chinese students, here learning English, who wanted to see the sunset from One Tree Hill. They'd never been there. Meanwhile the bus driver is getting more insistent and demanding, so I suggested we just hop off the bus and walk to One Tree Hill, and then I'd continue to my house just on the other side of the park.
It was a gorgeous day, and they were super keen. We got off in Epsom and enjoyed a really great walk, chatting all the way, half in English, half in Japanese, which I've been wanting to practice for ages. I ended up having so much fun, I decided to join them up the hill and took them on the walk through the sheep pastures, which is far more beautiful than the road. It was a real treat. Some of them had never seen sheep. The sunset was great, but the friendship connection was one of the best things ever. By the time the walk was over all 5 of them were sad to see me go and we made plans to visit North Head next. And of course, practice more English & Japanese.
Lately I feel like the world is full of lovely people just waiting for a hello.